Monday, July 24, 2006

it's so hot.....


...that most of my grandma's sunflowers looked like that.

we finally started using our AC this weekend. we usually have a bunch of stuff stacked in front of it during the winter, and we move it when it starts to get hot. so we did that yesterday. and omg! what did i EVER do without the AC?

too bad my scrap space is un-air conditioned. haha.

had a lot of fun at CHA in spirit day over at the pub on saturday! but i think a lot of people hate me now because i hosted a drive-by RAK for a late night thread...with the goodies going to the thread killer. anyways, i started what would become a 40 page thread, and it's sitll going! haha!

quite evil i am. yep. oh well.

talked quite a bit to a friend i haven't talked to or seen in a LONG time (i think it's been a year since i last saw him)! it kind of makes me sad because he used to be my best guy friend and we used to do lots of random things together. we used to always go to the mall and eat at chipotle. and i dragged him to an autograph signing for a dodger player once. totally miss all that. and i miss him. unfortunately, when you get into relationships, your friendships with people of the opposite sex tend to kind of change. that's sort of what happened here. although, he was telling me that isn't going that well either. which is kind of sad, because they seemed to really be hitting it off at one point.

i was reading through a lot of really old livejournal posts (well most of my posts over there ARE really old since i kind of stopped updating it in favor of this), and it sort of made me sad. lots of friends i was once close to that grew apart. i especially miss my friend jenny. i still talk to her sometimes, and i saw her on my birthday. but we used to be a lot closer. but she went to study abroad for a year, and i guess we sort of lost touch then.

these things happen, i know. i know that i really don't talk to about 90% of my old high school friends. which makes me sad, but that's life i guess.

i guess i should be thankful that i have my core group of friends that i absolutely LOVE. and i love how we click even when we're apart from each other 10 months out of the year. people ask me how we do it. i honestly don't know. but we do. and i love that. and i hope THAT never changes.

i miss my friends that are abroad right now, having the time of their lives.. even though i'm living vicariously through their picture posts on livejournal. my friend elaine went to paris this weekend and i'm TOTALLY jealous! and then there are those friends who are doing just the opposite, slaving away with summer school. miss my newspaper buddies.

i guess i'm a little lonely.

i also need to do a bit of thinking. of what to do with the rest of the summer, and beyond this next semester. what's next? i feel lost. i thought i had everything together, but when the transferring for this fall fell through, that sort of messed things up a little. this extra time is also making me think if i really want to pursue journalism. some days i really want to do it, some days i really want to do something totally different (something more creative. and the days i really want to do it are when i totally get lost in a magazine). when i got to college, i was SO SURE this was what i wanted to do. it was what i wanted to do since my freshman year of high school. through most of my newspaper days, i was sure. but i don't know. some of this comes out of self-doubt too. realy trying to figure out if i really have it in me. but if not journalism, what else? i throught about other things, but nothing really seems viable. especially if it means a bunch of prerequisites. it's bad enough that i'm having to stick it out this long, i can't possibly stay here for even longer!

when i first got to college, i was so happy that i already knew what i wanted to do. i saw all my friends trying to figure out what thety wanted to do, and i secretly gloated in the fact i didn't have the same problem. now, everyone is about to graduate (actually one of my friends already did), and i'm the one that's lost. kind of ironic.

i'm sure i'll figure it out and pull it together...but now i'm just confused.

anyhow - lots of scrappy things to work on from now through the middle of next month. my mojo better not disappear on me and stick around!

oh - and happy 21st to my dear friend breanne.

9 comments:

melissa said...

((hugs)) I know what you mean about lossing touch with friends..in fact this week I called a bunch of 'old' friends to get together for a girls night out..I really need to keep in touch more.

and I dont hate you..even though I stayed up until 5am yesterday posting on that dang RAK board. ;) we had fun though

Shirls said...

reading your post made me miss my friends too. we all got married and moved to diff countries.

can't wait to see your layouts:)

nadine said...

growing up quite honestly just sucks. especially losing touch with friends. it's so hard to adjust to.

Sophia said...

Part of growing up is losing friends that you never thought you would. I love the internet for that reason alone! It keeps me in touch with people that I lost years ago! Thanks for sharing.

Sophia

rani said...

it's hard loosing touch, but I believe that those friends will pop up at other times in our lives, it's just part of the change that life puts us all through

-and...I think it's poast page 44 now!!!

EK said...

Sorry it's so hot! At least the AC's working now, right?? :)

dianne_lone said...

I get in touch with my friends through webdate_dot_com.. Its the coolest site where I can get in touch with them through webcam. I miss being with them so much!

Christy said...

Oooh! I SO feel ya on the 'hot' subject... just posted about the same thing! Try and stay cool girlie!

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